Teenage Shenanigans
by Docintweed
Summary: An alternate universe where the characters of Doctor Who are at high school together. How does the Doctor fit into this? And how are the teachers going to deal with a pupil who knows more than they do? Completely NON-CANON!
1. A New Dawn

New Dawn

Author: Docintweed

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this fic. That honour belongs to the BBC.

Warning: No warning for this one, there might be a little fluff between certain characters, but nothing graphic...

Word count: 1,925

Summary: Amy finds an alien in her backyard, Rory get's interrupted, Mickey get's insulted and Rose develops a crush; just average life really...

**Ok, well. This is worrying. I got 13 emails telling me all sorts of people have favourited/reviewed/story alerted this fic. And I haven't even started it. No pressure there then. **

**Anyway, here's chapter one! If you don't like it, stick around, you might like chapter two. This is all gonna be third person; buuuut, I might start doing it from certain character's POV. Not decided yet, tell me what you'd prefer. **

**Anyway, tell me if it's any good; if not, tell me where it needs improving. Well... I guess this it... Geronimo!**

BOOM!

Amy sat up immediately.  
>"What the heck was that?" She rubbed her eyes, and checked her alarm clock. "Urgh... it's too early." She climbed out of bed and dragged herself to the window. "What the hell is that?" In her garden, was a tall, blue box.<p>

(Several hours later)

Amy's alarm clock started its persistent assault on her ear drums... AGAIN. Wait... that wasn't her alarm clock. Amy opened her eyes. The first thing she saw, was the Doctor. Scratch that; the first thing she saw was a bright green light, coupled with a high pitched whirring noise. She sat up quickly... It wasn't a dream.

...

(08:45)

"Will you stop it!" Amy snapped.

The Doctor had stopped (again, Amy might add) to examine (yet another) flower. "Interesting." Was all he said.

"It's a flower."

The Doctor looked at her with confusion. "Not the flower. I'm referring to how your hormones are having a negative effect on you. You're grumpy."

"That is because YOU woke me up too early... TWICE! And stop talking like that; you already stick out like a saw thumb with the bow tie."

"Bow ties are cool."

...

(09:08)

Amy shuffled through the crowded corridors nervously; how was she going to get away with this? What if someone found out? What if someone locked her up for harbouring an alien? She could go to prison! Amy smacked her forehead, banishing her over dramatic thoughts.

"Hello, are you from Earth? You don't really look human." Amy heard the Doctor say. She turned on her heel at an alarming speed. What the heck was he doing! Oh no... The Doctor was talking to Rory.

Rory opened his mouth to talk, but the Doctor was quick to interrupt.

"Hold on, that was rude wasn't it? I keep forgetting how easily offended humans are; you understand, don't you?" Again, Rory tried to speak, but was interrupted by the Doctor.  
>"Hang on; we're doing this in the wrong order aren't we? Hello, I'm the Doctor."<p>

Rory didn't attempt to talk this time.

"No, wait. I should be asking for your name, shouldn't I? No... I'm supposed to allow you to introduce yourself aren't I? Wait! I've been interrupting you, haven't I?"

This time, the Doctor was interrupted, by the school bell. He quickly put his hands to his ears to block the sound.

"Ow! What _is_ that!" He reached into his jacket pocket, and withdrew his sonic screwdriver. Within a second, the bell had stopped. "There, no need to worry about that again."

Amy raced up to the Doctor; "What the hell are you doing?"

"There was a problem with that...thing. It was malfunctioning, making a loud noise. Don't worry though; I fixed it."

Rory looked at Amy with confusion.

"He's an exchange student." She explained (lamely, she might add).

...

(09:15)

"So, explain it to me again?" The Doctor was sitting next to Martha Jones, in a history class.  
>"Well, we sit here, and learn stuff." She explained.<p>

"Ah... I see." The Doctor lied. "So... we insert these things into our ears, and download the information into our brains?"

Martha laughed (hysterically, the Doctor might add). "No... That's a pencil, we write with them."

"Oh... I see."

A man entered the room, an old man, wearing a tweed jacket and hat. The man carried an air of authority and grace about him; he was the sort of man you'd want to get along with, but also someone who you wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of.

"Good morning class. I'm you're new history teacher; you can call me Mr. Lethbridge-Stewart. Now, we'll have none of this messing about in my class. I was a brigadier once, and I intend to run this class in a similar fashion."

"Well, there goes me attending history ever again." Jack declared, earning a high-five from Mels and a laugh from the rest of the class.

The brig looked at Jack, and smiled. "Well, that's a relief."

A number of 'Oooh's broke out from the class. Jack shut up, and pretended not to be interested.

"Now, I'm going to ask each of you to say your name, and tell me a little about yourself." The brig said, with a calm voice. "Starting with you, at the back."

The girl at the back introduced herself. "My name's Ace. And I've got a thing for _explosives._" Ace put emphasis on that last word.  
>The brig shook his head, and motioned to the next one.<p>

"I'm Jack. And I've got a thing for _everyone._"

"My name's Mels."

"Wouldn't you like to tell us something about yourself?" The brig asked.

"Nah, it's alright gramps." Again, the class laughed.

"Nice to know, for such a narcissist, you still have a sense of humour." The brig replied, which got a much bigger laugh. "Next."

After a few more introductions, the brig reached the Doctor.

"And you?"

"Me? Erm... I'm just you're average teenager. You know, I like... playing with Lego and taking my pet raccoon for a walk. Erm... yeah, I love writing letters to my friends...and...and...you know, hanging on street corners with my Nan and her pals. You know; teenage stuff."

Amy's head hit the desk. The awkward silence that followed was unbearable.  
>"Quite." The brig said.<p>

...

(12:00)

Amy, Rory, Mickey, Rose and the Doctor were all sitting at a table eating lunch.

"So... where ya from?" Rose asked.

"Oh... all over. But originally, I'm from Gallifrey."

"That in Ireland?" She asked.

"What? No, it's-"

Amy interrupted him. "He means yes."

"Do I? Oh yes! Of course, Yeah."

Rose wasn't sure what it was, but she kinda liked this guy. Yeah, ok, he was a bit weird, but she sort of fancied him. Mickey was thinking the exact same thing. Well, not the exact same thing; he was thinking that Rose fancied him. And, being Rose's boyfriend, it made him jealous.

"So, Ricky-"

"It's Mickey."

"Ricky."

Rose laughed, but went quiet when Mickey glared at her.

"What's your favourite class?"

Amy talked over Mickey's response. "Ok, enough with the boring questions. Seriously Doctor, who cares?"

The Doctor looked offended, but shut up nevertheless.

"Anyway" Mickey started. "Who calls themselves the Doctor? Doctor Who?"

The Doctor slammed both his hands on the desk and stood up. "NO! It's not 'Doctor Who'; it's THE DOCTOR. Seriously, when will you people get it into your thick, primitive heads?"

"Whoa chill. I don't think Mickey meant any offence." Amy interrupted.

Rose had kinda blanked out, and began staring at the Doctor's eyes. This was kinda cut short when the Doctor was knocked to the floor. Wait? WHAT!

Rose looked up to see who had pushed the Doctor to the floor. Oh...

It was Davros, the leader of the 'Dalek' gang.

"Hey, watch where you're going" Davros snarled.

The Doctor got up, and looked at Davros. "Sorry, I think you're mistaken. It was you who pushed me; so, theoretically, you should be watching where you're going. I think that's right, isn't it?"

"What? I'll teach you the folly of your words, mate." And, naturally, Davros hit the Doctor.

...

(12:45)

"Ow... my head..." The Doctor woke up in a strange room; it stunk of sweat and... Perfume. Hmm, he seemed to be in some sort of changing room, that explained the sweat; but where was the- oh. Rose was holding a wet flannel to his forehead. Oh, well... how was he supposed to react around a girl? I mean, it was alright with Amy, because she kept shouting at him. But Rose, she was all kind and sweet. Well, here goes.

"Oh, hello. You're Rose? I'm the Doctor. No... hang on.. we've done this bit." Great, he'd messed up already.

Surprisingly, Rose just sort of giggled. "It's ok. You don't have to talk, you know. I just offered to take care of you. I mean, Mickey wasn't too happy about it, but Rory said something about him an' Craig goin' to see a football match and he went with them." Great, now she was rambling. She really kinda liked this guy, and she didn't have a clue why. "Anyway... erm, how long you gonna be stayin?"

"No idea. For a long time by the looks of it. Which, isn't that bad I suppose." The Doctor wanted out of this situation, he was no good with girls. "Well, I think I should get going. English isn't it?

Rose seemingly snapped out of her daydream. "Yeah, and you're gonna love Miss Smith."

...

(01:05)

"Right" Miss Smith started. "I'd like us to do some group work."  
>The Doctor really liked Miss Smith; she seemed like a really nice person. She always spoke with such a calm, friendly manner; unlike the headmaster, Mr Finch, who always looked at his pupils like he wanted to eat them. "So; Donna, Jack and Jenny: find a table and I'll explain your task. Mels, Ace and Rory, you're the next group. Amy, Mickey and Craig, you're together. Now, that just leaves Rose, Adam and..."<p>

The Doctor snapped out of his daydream. "Just call me the Doctor."

"Right... and the Doctor. You all sit on this table."

After, Miss Smith had explained her task (unsuccessfully as the Doctor kept interrupting, something about how he thought Miss Smith would be excellent at fighting Zygons) the group started their work.

Adam, much like a couple of other students (notably: Craig, Jack, Amy and of course Mickey) had a big crush on Rose.

"Right; Adam, you do the writing. Rose, you can draw the pictures. And I'll come up with all the ingenious ideas. If we go about this correctly, we can decimate the other teams with a solid three point two plan." The Doctor declared, with a face as serious as Mr Finch when someone makes a 'Giles' joke.

Adam looked at the Doctor, and then at Rose, with a questioning look. Strangely, Rose just smiled, like this was completely normal. Hmmm, as much as he hated to admit it, he was really insecure around Rose. He had a habit of thinking that she fancied every guy she spoke to. This only made things worse when she started going out with Mickey. I mean, what did she see in him? At least you could understand why Amy was with Rory; they had known each other since the age of six. But Mickey? Come on! Mickey doesn't deserve someone like Rose; Rose deserved someone like Adam... or so he liked to tell himself.

"Oh no..." Miss Smith was staring out of the window. "Leela's on the roof again. Excuse me, class."

The second she was gone, Jack, Mels and Ace had raced out of the class room. And straight into Mr Finch.

"And where do you think you're going?" He said, with that evil smile plastered all over his face.

Jack gulped, and the three of them sloped back to their seats.

"Ah, Adam; would you mind taking a trip to my office?"

Adam froze on the spot. "Y-yes sir."

After Finch and Adam had left, Rose wondered if anyone would ever see Adam again. Fortunately, (or unfortunately, depending on which way you looked at it) this left Rose and the Doctor alone.

"So, I get it. You got the popular kids, that's Jack, Mels and Ace. You got the nerds, Martha, Rory and Adam. You got the cheerleaders, that'd be you, Amy and Christina. And the bullies, as in the Daleks, Cybermen and Sontarans." The Doctor mused. "Yeah, I think I'm gonna fit in just fine."

**ANNNNNNNND BOOSH!**

**Ok that's it for chapter one, tell me what you think about it. I think this chapter was a little short compared to the what the others are gonna be, but I just wanted to get the whole "introductory chapter" outta the way. This was more of an introduction to the characters than anything else; there wasn't much in the way of a storyline. Anyway, if it's a load of crap, don't feel afraid to tell me. I'll get another chapter up hopefully sometime next week, and that's when the story really get's going.**


	2. When Things Go Wrong

When things go wrong

Author: Docintweed

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this fic. That honour belongs to the BBC.

Warning: There's a lot of flirting between Amy and Rose, and some pretty suggestive themes.

Word count: 1457

Summary: The Doctor decides to have a little fun; but sometimes, you need to know when you've gone too far.

**Ok... I guess this took longer than expected, been busy with college... Anyway, this chapter sucks... had a major case of writer's block here... sorry :/**

**See, the first chapter was all fun and "oh look it's such and such as a teenager!" but now? Now it needs a proper story, which really isn't as interesting as it sounds... Anyway, what do YOU want to happen? Do you want action? Romance? Danger? Tell me! Anyway let's go!**

**Oh and, by the way, because of my writer's block, this chapter is kinda soaked in Amy/Rose flirting... yeah, things get pretty dirty... but it's the kind of flirting two friends might have, who might just fancy each other a little... Lol don't expect any romance between the two, It's just harmless flirting! Sorry if I got a little carried away... but I genuinely believe these two would flirt the pants off each other if they ever met... But this is NOT an Amy/Rose fic, they just (HARMLESSLY) flirt with each other... a lot.**

...

The Doctor looked up from the fire, this wasn't good. "When things go wrong, they really go wrong."

...

(4 hours earlier/4 hours before fire)

**Amy's POV**

Oh, I know what you're thinking. Why do on Earth would anyone wanna see inside _my_ head? Well, maybe if you give me a chance, you'll find out. You think I'm boring don't you? Well I'm not. Bet you didn't know I had a friend... who's an ALIEN. Well... I guess you probably did know that. But... whatever. Anyway, if you've quite finished interrupting me, you might get to see that my life isn't as boring as it seems.

Damn it, where the hell is Rory? The guy is either pretending to be dead, or 'revising' 24/7. I mean, what the hell is he revising for?

I start heading down the corridor, switching glances between alternating corridors. I am going to kill him. Seriously; I'm going to rip his arms off, and stitch them to his face. Then, I'm going to-

"Oh, hi Rory." I say with a smile. Ok, awkward... I know. But, come on; the guy has clearly been avoiding me.

"Amy, I've been looking for you everywhere!" Ok... maybe not...

Wait... why has he been looking for me? "Why?"

"Because, I have a surprise for you; meet me in the gym, in about..." He checks his watch. "Four hours."

"Ok, see you there." Yeah I know... I may have been looking for him, but that was because I knew he was up to something, now I know he's planning a surprise. Basically, he's been acting weird all week. Anyway, I give him a kiss, and shuffle off. Urgh! Today is dull. Really dull. I mean, everything's normal. There's Mr Finch leaving his office, there's Jack flirting with Christina... Yuck. Ok, I get it. My life s boring. But that can be changed, let's step it up a notch. Hmm, where's the Doctor? Maybe Rose will know? Aha, there she is.

**Rose's POV**

Aaaaaaand here we go again. It's the same bloody thing every bloody day. Seriously, this is my life, EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Wake up, go to school, flirt with Amy, argue with Mickey, talk to Martha, ignore the teacher, go to lunch, more lessons, and then home. I mean, can't something fun happen? Can't something magical happen? Ok, I know, it's daft. But I'm bored... Anyway, I'm heading to Geography at the minute; hopefully something interesting will happen there?

(2 Hours before fire)

So, today has gone...exactly the same way it always does.

"Hey Rose" Oh god... its Craig. Shouldn't he be stalking Sophie or something?

"Er... hi." So what if that was lame? Wanna make a thing out of it? No. Didn't think so.

"Have you seen Mickey?" Mickey? What the boomerang does he wanna speak to Mickey for? Blimey now he's staring at me like he wants to offer me the universe and protect me from a bunch of aliens shaped like pepper pots... wait... where did that come from? Strange... must be from that strange show I was watching the other day... what was it called? Erm... Doctor What? Or was it Professor which?... No, oh I remember; it was called _Dentist when_! Strange show... Anyway, back to Craig...

"Erm... no actually, I haven't seen him all day..." Where the hell is Mickey?

"Oh...ok. Thanks anyway." And Craig went off.

Okay... that was strange. How did I not notice Mickey was missing? I mean, it's not like I ignore him; I mean, I'm always paying him attention. I'd NEVER leave him and... I dunno... go travelling... for example. NEVER. Well... maybe... but that's not the point! Ok... what was I saying? Whatever, I'm just gonna head to the canteen, it's time for some food! Have I ever told you about Adric? He's a lad who used to go to our school, but he fell in with the wrong crowd, the cybermen. He was in their car when it crashed, and he died. I used to like Adric; he was one of the few people who didn't actually flirt with me. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love a good flirt, but it was nice to just have a conversation. Whereas me and Amy get really dirty, but that's just us taking the mick and messing around, it's not serious flirting. Blimey, I'm sidetracked easily. Anyway, I'll go find Amy and try to track Mickey down. Aha, there she is.

"Hey bitch."

"Hey sexy." Yeah, that's how we greet each other... got a problem? Anyway, Amy's about to talk, let me listen.

"Mmmm, I love it when you talk dirty." She adds a wink for effect.

"I bet you do." I add before giving her butt a quick smack, which makes her let out that adorable squealing sound that I can't get enough of. "Anyway, have you seen Mickey?"

"If I tell you, will you screw me?" Amy wiggles her eye brows as she makes the offer.

"Mmmm, baby you're turning me on..." Hey, I told you we get dirty! The two of us laugh a little before returning to my question about Mickey.

"Nope, afraid not." Amy finally replies.

"Damnit."

I turn to walk away, and hear Amy's voice once more.

"See you later, hot stuff."

Hmmm, I decide to add a sway to my steps... she's totally checking me out right now. It's kinda obvious she fancies me, but hey, I love flirting.

**Amy's POV**

Damn that ass is fine. Sorry... just checking Rose out. That girl just gets me like no one else does, and she's scorching hot... maybe if me and Rory don't work out... Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, chemistry exam.

(10 minutes before fire)

**No one's POV**

Mickey and the Doctor had been punished for disrupting the class; and where given a whole day's worth of desks to clean.

"So, what do you think of the school?" This was Mickey's attempt at starting a conversation.

"Well, it's structurally secure, bricks are stable, and it's a nice colour... sometime's the heating falters, but, can't complain."

Mickey stared for a few seconds. _What?_

"No... I meant, what do you think of the people?"

"Oh! Yes! Of course! Humans are a little vague about their questions... Yeah the people are nice."

Nice. Well, it seemed to Mickey that the Doctor was a bit vague with his answers. Hypocrite.

"Hey, Mickey, hold this." The Doctor passed Mickey his bucket and jogged out of the door.

"Bu-... where... oh never mind." Mickey slumped back against the table and set the bucket down next to him.

...

The Doctor was quickly making his was towards the science lab, he had a pretty neat idea. He was planning to create a special type of liquid; one he learned the ingredients to when visiting the planet Unstrangon. It's affects denied the user the ability to speak, basically they'd lose their voice for a week, and the Doctor could have loads of fun with that...

"Just some HC506, a bit of toad saliva, one drop of daisy thrumptreats... aaaand we have ourselves a mute potion!" The Doctor grabbed the liquid and turned to head for the door. Once he'd just about reached the exit, his nose sensed the scent of burning; he spun on his heel, only to find the sink on fire.

"No no no no!" The Doctor quickly poured the potion over it, in hopes of putting out the flame. And it did the exact opposite. The flames turned a bright green, and spread like wild fire... which... I suppose it was...

The Doctor looked up from the fire, this wasn't good. "When things go wrong, they really go wrong."

...

Mickey power walked down the corridor, angered by the Doctor leaving him to do all the work.  
>"Doctor! What the-" Mickey was cut off by the sight of tall green-red flames.<p>

"Ah, Ricky! I seem to have misplaced the quantum chlorophyll; and it's reacted with that banana. Anyway, the results are slightly catastrophic, and the whole things gone boom." The Doctor gestured with his hands, imitating an explosive.  
>Mickey considered correcting the Doctor, but decided the fact that his name isn't Ricky was the least of his problems.<p>

"Wha-"

"Don't try to talk, I have the situation under control. Now, the whole building is going to go boom, and the everyone will die. Luckily, all I need is a liquidify and the fire will die down."

"What's a liquidify?"

"Usually found on snowbound planets, not likely in your galaxy."

"Then how do we get some?"

"Well, we use my TAR- damn it's broke. Oh no..."

"What?"

"Ricky, we're all going to die."

The Doctor turned to the flames... and gulped.

...

**Ok... I know... it's short. And it er... sucks.**

**But if you want it to get interesting, GIVE ME SOME SUGGESTIONS! Or even criticisms, either will help. Do you want more Amy and Rory? Do you want more Doctor and Rose? Do you want less of someone? More Flirting between my favourite companions (Amy and Rose :P)? Or less of it?**

**Anyway, with your help, I'll try to make the next chapter more plot driven, and longer.**

**Anyway, sorry for the suckyness...**


	3. Wild Fire

Author: Docintweed

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this fic. The BBC do. Lucky twats.

Warning: More flirting. Some scenes of death.

Pairing: Amy/Rory (couple) Rose/Mickey (couple) Rose/Doctor (flirting) Amy/Rose (flirting)

Word count: 1935

Summary: Rory is missing, a fire has started, and the headmaster might not be as human as he makes out.

**What? But I thought you'd given up on this fic!**

**Well, no, no I haven't. There is a very good reason why I haven't added to this fic in a while. For the past few months, I've been LAPTOP-LESS. Yes, my laptop has been broken. I have finally sent it off to get fixed. I had started the next chapter on my laptop, but that's with the computer-fixing-people. Anyway, I've got tired of waiting, and decided** **to write a new chapter up on my phone. **

**Ok, thanks for the feedback guys! One review was a little... Negative. Don't get me wrong, I need criticism, but let's keep it constructive, people.**

**Anyway, you guys have spoken, and basically told me that you want more romance. Surprisingly, you seemed to want more Rose/Amy. So, I shall give you more flirting! I know one of you expressed dislike for the pair, but hey, you were rude about it, and you were outvoted. **

**Now, another thing; they're TEENAGERS. And what constant thought occupies every teenager's mind? SEX.**

**Yes, I realised I've kinda avoided that topic; I don't think I'm gonna do full on sex scenes (let me know if you want em) but I think there should be a little more talk on the subject.**

**Also, I've noticed you guys want more Rose/Doctor. Coming right up!**

**See, don't say I don't give you guys what you want. **

**I'd like to mention that Rose IS interested in the Doctor, his feelings will be made clear. Amy is interested in Rose. Not for a relationship (hey, she loves Rory) but she clearly wants to screw Rose's brains out (sorry Amy, Rose is straight :( ). Not sure if there'll be any Amy/Doctor. Again let me know what you guys want.**

**Ok, better start the fic, one more thing! One of you mentioned that you wanted the Daleks and Cybermen to be as they where in the show. Now, I was kinda going for the average group of guys, but I haven't specified that, so if you want them to be cyborgs, then cyborgs they shall be!**

**Thanks for the kind words guys, you rock! **

**Now, on with the story!**

Amy's POV

(time of fire)

Ok, off to find Rory. Seriously, what sort of surprise could the guy have? But then, I guess that's why they call it a surprise. I weave between the crowded corridor, avoiding some sontarans (seriously, they think they're so hard, pffft, please) finally, I reach the other end.

"Ms Pond?"

Oh no, it's Finch. I keep walking, pretending to not have heard him.

"Ms Pond!"

*gulp*

I turn on the spot.

"Hello, sir"

"Could I have a word with you in my office, please?"

And never come out again? No thanks. Need an excuse, any suggestions? No? Fat lot of good you are.

"Erm... The Brigadier wanted me, sir." Yeah, I know he's Mr Lethbridge-Stewart, but we call him the brig.

"I'm sure it can wait."

Doesn't he get the message?

"He said it was important, sir."

Finch glares at me.

"Very well." And he walks off to find somebody else to bother. What a creep. Seriously, what a bloody creep. I've heard those rumours, I'm not stepping foot inside his office. EVER. Anyway, I eventually reach the gym doors, and pull 'em open. Rory should be here by now. Ah, there's Craig, maybe he knows where Rory is. Time to put on the charm.

"Hey, Craig." I say...seductively. Oh yeah I'm good.

"Er...hello."

And he's blushing. Seriously, I'm a god at flirting.

"So" I steadily unbutton a couple of buttons on my shirt. "Have you seen Rory?"

"Erm... Y-yes. He went with... With mr Finch. About a m-minute ago."

Finch? Oh god no.

"Ok, thanks!" I speed off out of the door. I don't even know where finch's office is!

Rory, if you're dead, I'm gonna kill you.

Rose's POV

(Five minutes earlier)

I gave up my search for Mickey about half an hour ago, apparently he's got detention. So, I go searching for my favourite pass time.

Amy.

That sexy, fiery, red head of mine who I can't keep away from. What? She's my best friend. And she's hot.

Anyway, I pop out my phone, and start typing a text.

R: Heeeey hottie xx 3

After about 3 minutes (which is odd, 'cos Amy always replies straight away, at least to me) I get a reply.

A: Hey baby, u seen Rory? 3

R: Nope. Y? urs gon missin 2? xx x

A: Mickey disappeared as well? XX

R: Yeah. Not seen him all day xxx

A: I don't know why we bother with em xxx

R: me neither. Theyre useless 3

A: well you know where I am if you get bored of Mickey ;)

R: why don't we carry this conversation on in person? ;)

AMY's POV

My phone vibrates, and find another text from Rose.

R: why don't we carry this conversation on in person? ;)

Woah, it's usually ME who's doing the aggressive, suggestive flirting. Find Rory? or have crazy flirting session with what appears to be a very horny Rose Tyler?

God damn it.

A: Haha I wish... Sry Rose. Got to find Rory. He sed it was important. :( xxx 3

awww ok... Seeya later :( x

Sigh... Better keep looking for Rory...

NO POV

(Five minutes later)

"The banana!" the Doctor shouted. "Grab the banana!"

Mickey looked at the Doctor like he'd grown a second head.

"It's on FIRE!"

The Doctor turned to look at the banana. "So it is, forget the banana!"

"Doctor, we need to get out of here. NOW!"

"No, no no no no no no. I'm good at fixing things, leave this to me. Go on, run for your life."

Mickey didn't need to be told twice, he headed for the door and didn't look back once.

The Doctor weighed up the situation, he needed to think, fast. Faster than usual.

"Oh my god."

Ah, Mickey was back. Strange though, his voice seemed higher pitched. The Doctor turned around. Ohhh, it was Rose. Makes sense.

"Don't worry, everything's under control."

"Control? You call this under control? It's on fire!"

"10/10 for observation. The tricky bit is making it so it's not on fire." the Doctor started searching through cupboards, looking for anything that could help. "There's... I need... I need something cold, something that could.. Put out fire... Do you have anything like that on this planet!"

When he heard no reply, he turned around. And found Rose had left him. He was on his own.

AMY'S POV

Ah, mr Finch's.

Slowly, I turn the handle. Yes, I know I should knock. There is a whopping great sign saying 'knock first' you know. You don't need to remind me. Anyway, I stick my head inside, and see...nothing. The light is off. I shut the door behind me, and switch on the light. Ok... This can't be right. The room is empty. Just an empty white room. No desk, no chairs, nothing. Well, nothing except for a door. But the door is strange, it's metal, and has one of those spinning things you see on submarines (I think?) as a door handle. I put my hand of the handle, and try to turn it. Damnit, it's stuck. Come on! Just...turn you stupid piece of-

That strange whirring noise interrupted me. I turn around and see the Doctor, and Rose.

NO POV

(two minutes earlier)

The Doctor started emptying his pockets, desperately searching for something that could extinguish the flames. Suddenly, Rose raced back into the room, with a fire extinguisher in her hands.

The Doctor's face lit up. "Perfect!"

ROSE'S POV

(Two minutes later)

Ok, this is weird. Finch's office is empty.

"What are you two doing here?" Amy asks. That's gratitude for you.

"Well, my screwdriver detected a sort of presence. One with vast unknowable power. For a 21st century high school anyway. And I came to have a look. Satisfied? Good. Now what are YOU doing here?" wow, he sounds so hot when he talks like that.

Amy doesn't seem half as impressed.

"I'm looking for my boyfriend. Who I think is trapped on the other side of this huge metal door. Which, by the way, is too heavy for me to open. Thanks for offering to help." wow, she sounds so hot when she talks like that.

Anyway, time to get this door open.

(about 123 seconds later)

NO POV

With about as much effort as they can manage, the trio finally manage to get the door open. Rory lying unconscious in the centre of the cupboard, along with three skeletons.

"Oh my god, Rory!" Amy quickly rushes to her boyfriend.

The Doctor looks amongst the pile of bones. "Someone's got skeletons in their cupboard. Human skeletons."

Rose looked disgusted. "But... Finch? Finch killed the students? Adam? Dodo? Even poor old Ben?"

The Doctor didn't look remotely disgusted. More furious. "He's not just killed them, he's eaten them. Stripped the flesh from their bones, and left the remains to rot."

"Very good." all three turned quickly at the sound of Finch's voice. "And you three will make an excellent addition to my little collection. "

"I don't think so. You're going to stop this, right now. And if you don't, then I'll have no choice. I'll have to stop you."

Finch sneered at the Time Lord's comment. "Stop me, would you? How on Earth would you stop me? Nobody would miss you, I don't even know what you're doing in this school, you just shown up one day, with obviously fake credentials. But, I'm not one to miss out on a free meal."

Amy had had enough, she never liked this guy, and now, kidnapping her boyfriend and threatening her and her friends, he'd picked the wrong girl to mess with. "Now listen to me you... you big bully. I've got no time for you or your cannibal fetishes; just let us go!"

Finch smirked. "Cannibal? My dear, I'm not even human." Suddenly, Finch morphed into a large bat-like creature. It's skin was a pale pink, it's eyes where yellow and primal, and it had two large wings, about two metres in length.

"Interesting. Your a Krillitane. Can't say I'm surprised. Anyway, you gonna give up yet?" The Doctor asked.

"Enough of this petty feud. This ends NOW." Finch stepped forward, fangs on show.

"Now, interesting bit of information. Earlier on, I was creating a potion, a mute potion. It's an interesting little invention that the Graske came up with. Anyway, one of the ingredients, was HC506; other wise know as: Krillitane oil. Now, you've changed your physiology so often, that your own oil is toxic to you. And I happened to-" the Doctor pulled out what appeared to be a water balloon "save some." He started tossing the balloon up and down. "Wanna give up yet?"

Finch went noticeably more pale.

"Oh look at that! I've got the advantage. I gave you a chance, I offered you the chance to run away. And you ignored me. Now, I'm not so sure I should let you go. I'm not convinced you won't do this all over again in another school."

Finch perked up. "How do I know you aren't bluffing? That could be anything."

"Wanna risk it?"

Finch growled. He was defeated. And he knew it.

The Doctor smiled. "There's another option, of course. That cupboard, it's not just any old cupboard. It's a teleport chamber. Otherwise it'd be filled with bodies, you need to send them somewhere once it gets a bit full, so you teleport them off. How about, you jump in, and leave?"

"That teleport is random, I could come out anywhere."

"Not my problem. It's that or blow up."

Finch sighed. "Interesting proposition. Die, or enter a teleport that could send me into deep space, where I'd also die."

"It could also send you home, away from Earth."

"The chances of that are slim to none. Do you still think I'd be here if I could get back home?"

"I don't know. And I don't care, leave." He tightened his grip on the balloon, just to prove his point.

Finch took a few steps towards the teleport cupboard, luckily Rory had been taken out of it by Amy. "What if it kills me? Could your conscience carry that?"

"My conscience would live, knowing that Earth is safe."

Finch looked at the Doctor, attempting to stare him down.

"Leave."

Finish stepped in the cupboard. And the door closed.

Rose sighed. "Well that was anti-climactic."

Amy laughed nervously. "Hey, be glad we're safe."

"Yeah, safe. From a 6 foot talking bat! What the hell is going on?"

"Well, there's something I haven't told you. The Doctor is... An alien."

(Two days later)

"Water?"

"Yep. That whole 'Krillitane oil' was a complete lie. HC506 is an intergalactic word for dairy. Either way, I used it up on the fire."

Amy frowned. "But what if he'd called your bluff?"

"I knew he wouldn't, too much of a risk."

"The teleport thing was a pretty big risk too."

"What would you choose? Certain death, or possible death?"

"Good point."

The Brigadier walked into his new office. Headmaster. He was now headmaster of Coal Hill School. He looked down at his paperwork. Paperwork. That's one thing he wasn't looking forward to.

At the top of the pile, was an application for a new student. Someone wanted to join the school. The brig picked up the paper, and inspected it further. It was a boy, another male wanting to join. Hmm, he seemed to have specifically requested to join his history class. Actually, he seemed to have requested to be in every class that the Doctor was in. He scanned for a name. Ah, there it is. The applicant was called Saxon.

Harold Saxon.

**Yeah I think that's all the Rose/Amy flirting I can deal with for now. I think I'll give it a rest for a few chapters... But it's an amusing line filler.**

**Anyway, the story arc has started. I have the next nine Nine chapters planned out; and let me tell you, big times are coming!**

**Anyway, yeah I'm not overly keen on this chapter. I don't see anything wrong with it, there's just not much right with it either. Anyway, let me know what you think...**


	4. The Impossible Girl

Disclaimer: Alas, I do not own Doctor Who.

Warning: Flirting. It's Doctor Who, flirting is a big part of Doctor Who these days.

Pairing: Amy/everyone (flirting) Jack/Everyone (flirting). New girl/Who knows? She's a pretty big flirt too!

Word Count:

Summary: There's a new student. Things are different at Coal Hill School; everyone strap yourself in... Clara is here.

**I have absolutely NO excuse for how long it's been. I kinda lost motivation for this story. But then I kept getting emails (still get them now, ****_over a year_**** after the last chapter was posted) saying people were favouriting/reviewing/following ****_Teenage Shenanigans. _****I'm ****_extremely _****grateful, guys, I really am. Anyway, you guys have sort of guilt tripped me into getting back into it, haha. I ****_am _****going to start posting regularly again. **

**Anyway, to reintroduce you (and me) back into Coal Hill School, I've introduced a new character to the story, and it's all from her POV. So, we're gonna see it all from a new pair of eyes, reintroducing characters from a new perspective. **

**So yeah. We're back. Let's go back to school.**

What have we here? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Nah. It's a leaf. It's a special kind of leaf, though. It's a leaf that signifies the beginning of autumn. It's a leaf that made me step aside to avoid getting it in my hair, causing me to bump into a rather leggy ginger girl. Wow! This girl is all legs! Legs, legs, legs! Hard not to notice. Anyway, I'm being dreadfully rude. How about introducing myself?

My name is Clara Oswald. And I was born to save the universe.

Or so I keep telling myself. Gotta have goals in life, right? Always aim high, that's what my mum used to say.

"Oh, sorry!" The girl said in a Scottish accent.

Legs! Shh. She's talking. Forget legs.

"Legs!"

Terrific.

"What?" The girls replied.

Well done, Oswald. How are you gonna talk your way outta this one?

"I said 'legs'."

Genius!

She frowned. "Legs?"

"As in...Damn you legs! Don't walk into nice ginger girls!" I don't know why I bother.

"...I see. Well, I'm just gonna-" She motioned towards the doors in front of us.

"Ah, yes! Of course! Erm, see you around?"

The girl smiled before walking away.

Well, as first impressions go, I'd say that's a solid seven out of ten. At least I formed full sentences. Gotta be optimistic, right?

I continue my ambitious walk towards the school. I say ambitious because it _is _ambitious. I need new shoes, so water has got in. Sucks. Makes my journey to this new school terribly hazardous!

Aha! The front door!

I make my way inside, carefully avoiding Legs. Legs is what I'm calling the girl. I tend to avoid awkward encounters, so I now have to stay away from Legs for the rest of my life. I know, I'm ever so dramatic. Anyway, here's my locker! How awesome is that?! My locker! I found it first time! Like I said, dramatic. And a tad over excited.

"Hi."

Someone is talking to me. Male voice. Interesting.

I spin round, and come face to face with a guy. Aha! I knew it! A male!

"Captain Jack Harkness, and who are you?" Whoa. Cheesy or what?

"Captain?"

"Yes."

Okay.

"Captain of what, exactly?"

"Wanna find out?"

Whoa tiger. _So _not my type.

"Nah. You're alright. I'll pass." I turn on my heel and-

_Damn it!_

I now have to ignore Captain Cheesecake for the rest of my life.

See, I turned around, and then tripped.

Stupid shoes!

I quickly pull myself to my feet and walk away from Cheesecake and my locker. Oh how red my face must be! Damn my awkward teenagerness!

Once I feel it's safe, I stop for a breather. At least my life isn't dull, right? Mate, you're gonna have all sorts of fun with me.

Not my best wording.

Anyway, I'm off to lesson now, (I think, sort of) just gotta find the room. These corridors are really cool! Look at how they've really stuck to that paint job. Admirable. You can tell some real workmanship has gone into this wall! This is a fine wall. This wall is-

Ok, she's gone.

Sorry about that, Legs walked past, had to look busy.

I know. I'm cool, right?

-About 45 seconds and two awkward encounters later-

Aha! Room 204! Here I am!

So, where do I sit?

I'm just settling with the closest seat to the door, there aren't maybe people here anyway. I place my bag under the desk, and my hands on top of it. Well, this is English?

Yay.

Sigh.

The class starts to fill up as people causally walk in (am I like _reeeaaally early?_) and I'm forced to hide my face from a couple of the people on my must avoid club. Stealth Oswald for the win! Oswin! Excellent. My plan to go incognito is falling into place perfectly. I think now is the perfect time for an evil laugh. Would people find that weird? Would I be able to get away with it? Maybe a quiet evil laugh?

I ever so casually bring my hands together (like Mr Burns from the Simpsons) and laugh quietly to myself in a menacing manner.

"*Ahem*"

Damn my timing!

I look to my side (painfully slowly) and- OH DEAR GOD!

LEGS.

LEGS!

_LEGS!_

"Er...hi?" I manage. Somehow.

She stares at me for a few seconds. Oh no. God no. This is horrible. This girl could kill you via intimidation. Help!

Finally, she speaks.

"Yeah...hi. Me again. Sorry, but you're in my seat."

_WHY?! WHY MUST I SIT IN _HER _SEAT?!_

"Oh! Sorry, didn't realise. I'll just-" I gracefully (I say gracefully, more like awkwardly) pick up my bag and vacate the seat. "get going. Terribly sorry about that, legs."

She looked at me strangely.

"I mean- erm. Never mind." I just turn and _power walk _as fast as I can out of the room.

Ok. Skipping English. Never liked it much anyway.

...

Aha! Now this is more like it!

I'm in the library now. Everyone is keeping to themselves for now, so I'm having a _much _better time at fitting in.

"Hey."

No! Somebody found me! Why?!

Ok. Cool it, Oswald. You can handle this. Just remember, you're 004. Agent Oswald. Go! Go! Go!

I turn my head.

Dramatic, I know.

There's a guy stood there, in front of me.

"What do you think of purple?"

I'm as confused as you are.

Lemme explain. There's a guy stood in front of me, with the most _outrageous_ hair and a bowtie. He's wearing some purple coat-jacket-thing. Whoa. His chin is _huge! _

"I'm sorry?" Well done, Clara! That was a reasonably normal response!

"Purple. Does it look ok?" He says.

"I think it looks fine. Why?" I _can_ talk to strangers! Yay!

"Well, you looked lonely, and all my friends are in class. I thought maybe you could tell me if purple was an improvement?" He sounds so sincere. He's like a puppy!

"An improvement to what?"

He looks confused with my response. "What I wore before."

"What did you wear before?"

"Are you new?"

Oh, he's observant. "Yes. Today's my first day."

He looks excited. "Oh! I remember my first day! Everything was so strange!"

It was like that for him too? Wait. He said _was_. Past tense. It gets better!

He continues. "Well it's still strange, actually."

Damn.

"Anyway, lunch is in seven seconds. Nice chatting, bye!"

Seven seconds? Wha-

Oh, there's the bell. How did he do that?

WAIT. Did I just have a non-awkward encounter? Well it was a _tad _awkward. But it wasn't _me _who was being awkward. Success!

Yeah. I've got to stop fist pumping the air. I'm getting funny looks.

I'm gonna go follow chin-boy. He seems like my best chance of fitting in.

Operation fitting in begins!

...

Ok, so chin-boy is approaching the third table from the left, excellent. They look nice. Here goes nothing.

I casually stroll over towards the table, nodding and smiling at anyone who looks my way. People are curious about the new girl, I can understand that. I'm doing pretty well, I haven't tripped once! Ok, I'm approaching the table now; here I go, act natural!

"Hey!" Good start!

Chin-boy turns around.

"Hey!" He turns to his pals. "Guys, this is soufflé girl!"

Ok,_ what?!_

"Why am I soufflé girl?" I ask.

"You made a soufflé this morning."

Whoa. That's spooky.

"How can you possibly know that?"

"I have a good sense of smell."

Wow. I like this guy. Shh. He's talking again.

"Guys, soufflé girl is new, she doesn't have any friends. Think we can help her out?"

I was met with a table full of smiles and friendly nods.

Yay! Operation fit in is a success!

"This is Rose," he motioned towards the blonde sat next to him, we exchanged a little wave. "this is Rory," just nod for him apparently, must help him feel more manly. "Ricky" 'Ricky' corrected him with 'Mickey', and then we exchanged nods. "And I'm the Doctor!"

The Doctor?

Blimey. God complex, here.

Well, they seem like a pleasant enough bunch.

"Hi, I'm Clara." Smooth. No, really, I like it. I kept it simple, right?

I sit down at the bench next to Rory. This is cosy! I like it here!

"*Ahem*"

I recognise that throat clearing.

It can't be. No. Can it?

I turn around slowly, like a cornered animal.

LEGS!

I see legs!

I look up.

Ginger hair.

Sigh.

"Hi!" I put on my best smile.

Legs sort of frowns at me. Noooo! I was doing so well!

"Ah!" The Doctor jumps up. "Amy! You haven't met Clara yet, have you? She's the new girl! She's gonna be hanging around with us, team TARDIS!" He seems so enthusiastic.

Amy looks me up and down.

Don't stare at her legs. Don't stare at her legs. Don't stare at her legs.

Damnit! I'm staring at her legs.

"Clara, right?" She says, holding out her hand.

"Hi." I say, again.

"We've met." Legs says to the Doctor. "I'm Amy." She says to me.

Yay! I'm fitting in!

...

"So, you're saying I missed out on the best teacher ever's lesson?" I ask.

Mickey just kinda shrugs and takes a bite out of his sandwich. "Pretty much, yeah."

Rose steps in. "Miss Smith is just the best! Like she really is the best teacher you could have. How come you missed English, then?"

I freeze. It should be pretty obvious by now that I can't lie very well. So, I'm going to answer the question _without_ lying, but also without actually answering it. Here goes nothing.

"Well, technically I did show up, but then I had to leave." Hey, not bad!

"Oh, how come?"

Damn it.

"I felt a bit, like sort of, flustered." That's not untrue.

Rose looks at me with a face of understanding, (for politeness' sake, I don't think she has a clue what I'm on about really.) and smiles before turning and talking to Rory.

Ok, so operation fitting in isn't exactly going perfectly, but it's going a lot better than I thought it would, and that's something.

Anyway, time I told you about my new friends. To my left, is the Doctor. Now, this guy makes _me _look normal. Seriously. He can tell me exactly how any years ago dinosaurs ruled the planet, but not who the current prime minister is... I don't think he's all there, if you get what I mean. Next it Rose, she seems nice enough, but the girls kinda confuses me. She's _clearly _in a relationship with Mickey, he makes that obvious enough. But she never stops looking at the Doctor, like she hangs on his every word. It's kinda cute. Not sure he notices. Then there's Mickey, who hasn't really said much to me, he seems a bit clumsy and insecure. Rory seems really friendly, but also insecure. He's clearly got a thing for Amy, maybe they're going out? But I dunno, it kinda looks like he's just gonna give up on her soon or something. I dunno. I'm probably thinking too much into it, I've known them for like five minutes. Finally, you've got Legs. Or Amy. She seems nice, bit intimidating, but nice all the same.

So, here I am, first day, fitting in.

I'm doing so well!

And do you know what? I think everything's going to be _just fine._

_..._

**Consider this chapter a sort of...reboot. The Amy and Rose flirting is gonna tone ****_way _****down.  
>I loved writing Clara! She was just really fun; I can just sort of imagine her being an awkward teenager!<br>Clara's obsession with Amy's legs comes from the minisode "Clara in the TARDIS" where (if you haven't seen it) Clara sees an image of Amy, and is fascinated by her legs. So yeah, I put that in there. **

**Romance wise: I have Ianto coming in soon, so Jack gets a guy. Rose/Doctor on its way. I'm also trying to find a female/female romance to throw in there too. I've got male/male, and male/female, so I'm gonna try to fit a girl-girl relationship somewhere in there too. It ****_won't _****be Vastra and Jenny, because honestly, I don't really like them. So look out for all of that stuff if you like romance.**

**But yeah, I'm back! And you're back! We're all back! Back to school! I've got ****_much _****more motivation for this now. I can't wait. You have Clara to thank! I wouldn't have known where to start without using Clara.**

**I'm gonna start on the next chapter tomorrow, it's 2:30AM right now.**

**Let me know what you think!**


	5. Happy Birthday, Doctor!

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who.

Warning: Not much to warn you about really, same stuff.

Pairing: Some Amy/Doctor. Jack fancies everyone. Clara has a crush.

Summary: It's the Doctor's birthday, and his friends are gonna throw him a party to remember.

**Well, I wasn't planning on uploading anything today, but then I realised I couldn't ****_not_**** post a chapter on the 50th anniversary! So here we are, I wrote it all this morning. It's nothing amazing, just something to celebrate the occasion.**

**Sorry about any mistakes, I just wanna get it up as soon as possible. Then I can go watch lots of Doctor Who!**

**So yeah, this is just really a little tongue-in-cheek party sort of thing, something for Doctor Who's birthday. So enjoy! Or don't! I dunno, give it a shot. And who knows, you might see a past Doctor or two?**

ROSE POV

"Is there a word for total screaming genius that sounds modest and a tiny bit sexy?" Clara asks.

She does that, just says strange things at strange times.

"Erm, I dunno. Why?" I ask in return.

"I think I've just found one." She says.

I look at her for a few seconds, before she just kinda shrugs and walks ahead.

I chase after her.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"Class." She replies.

"Do you even know where that is?"

She stops in her tracks.

We're stood in the middle of the hallway right now, so there's a lot of people traffic.

"Come on, Clara." I say, before turning in the opposite direction and leading her to her class. "Coming Amy?" I call behind us.

-50-

AMY POV

"Hey, guys." I say, before sitting down next to Rose.

"What's up?" She says.

I look around carefully, the coast is clear.

It's important.

"So, I was thinking-"

"Did it hurt?" That wasn't Rose. That was Sec. Sec's one of the particularly nastier members of the Dalek gang.

"Hey, how about you go hump Davros' leg for a bit, huh?" That's how you talk to a Dalek. They shouldn't mess with me.

"Yeah! Go sit somewhere else! Like on the moon! And...don't bother talking to my friend meanly again...you big...you big thing!" That is _not _how you talk to a Dalek. That was Clara. I turn to her and pat her on the shoulder; she's all bark, no bite. Her bark isn't very impressive either. I'm both bark _and _bite.

"Anyway," I say before turning back to my group. "I was talking to the Doctor earlier- Rose, try not to make it obvious that you're fawning over him." She frowns and hits my shoulder. Ow. That actually kinda hurt. "He said he doesn't have a birthday."

Clara looks confused. "He...doesn't have a birthday?"

"No."

"How can he not have a birthday?!" She asks.

"Because...he's...foreign."

"Foreign people have birthdays!"

"Yeah...but...he...forgot his."

"How can you forget your own birthday?!"

Rose interjects. "It's complicated Clara. Just accepts he doesn't have a birthday, it'd really speed things along."

"But it makes no sense!"

I sigh, before putting my hand on her shoulder. "Clara, just accept what I'm telling you. Please?"

She frowns before muttering a very child-like "okay".

"Anyway, he doesn't have a birthday, so I had this totally awesome idea."

I pause for dramatic emphasis.

"We're going to throw him a birthday party."

Rose and Clara stare at me with frowns upon their faces. Why are they frowning? They can't knock this plan; it's foolproof!

"We're going to throw a birthday party for the guy without a birthday?" That was Clara again.

"Today can be his birthday! It's the Doctor! He _loves _a party!"

Rose shakes her head, but then smiles. "Alright, count me in. Today's gonna be his day. Today is going be the day of the Doctor."

-50-

CLARA POV

"Psst!" 004 agent Oswald here, I'm on a very important mission.

Move it people!

Sorry about that, just lots of traffic around these parts.

Anyway, I'm on my way to meet with some very important people; it's a sort of secret meeting. I'm going to gather as many of the Doctor's friends as I can find, and tell them about the party. Trouble is, the Doctor has a _lot _of friends. Like it's unreal.

"Halt!"

Oh dear. It's one of the Sontaran gang. Ok, time to show them what I'm made of.

"What is it?" Aha! How intimidating was that! Awesome! Go Oswald!

"What are you doing in this corridor?"

Oh no. This is the one I've heard about, the one that takes his gang a little _too _seriously.

Ugly little guy.

No offence intended.

"I'm on a mission." I say. I _will not _reveal secrets to the enemy!

"Mission?! What mission?! Does this mission involve plans against the Sontarans?"

Pfft, like I'm gonna tell him that! Who does he think I am?

I'm Clara 004 Oswald!

"No, it doesn't."

"Then what does it involve?"

"Not saying."

"Tell me."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Now."

"I'll never tell."

"Tell me now!"

"Okay! I'll tell you! Just please don't shout at me! I can't take people shouting at me!"

What? He found my weakness!

He taps his foot impatiently. "Well?"

"We're...planning a party."

"For?"

I need to think of something, quick!

"For...the 50th anniversary!"

He looks intrigued.

"Oh! What 50th anniversary? Why do I not know of this? This information could be vital to the Sontaran gang!"

I _need _to think of something fast!

"The 50th anniversary of the London soufflé championships!"

Is that believable?

He just stares for a few seconds.

This is worse than waiting for them to announce the winner on X-factor...and I don't even watch X-factor! I guess that doesn't say much, but I understand the anticipation. I think I stopped watching it when it got really repetitive and- Oh, he's talking. Hold on.

"-and that's exactly what I plan to do! So don't try to stop me!" He says.

Wait, what? No! What did he say?!

"Wait, erm...sorry, what?"

"I said I must warn my fellow Sontarans of this. Do not try to stop me, or I will have to dunk your head in the nearest toilet."

Wow. I just got threatened by humpty dumpty.

"Oh, I see. I...guess I can't stop you. Sorry, what was your name again?"

He turned on his heels and marched in the opposite direction. "Strax!" He called over his shoulder.

Funny guy. Weird guy.

Anyway!

-50-

AMY POV

"Who the hell are you?!" I'm back at my house now, trying to keep the Doctor away from our plans.

Problem?

There's a strange guy stood in my bedroom, that's the problem.

He's just stood there in front of the mirror... How long has he been here for? Is he here to murder me?!

I mean, he's pretty fit, so it's not all bad, but HE'S IN MY BEDROOM! I don't care what he looks like! That's not cool! That's breaking and entering! Unless someone's been listening to my pleas for a really fit guy to materialise in my bedroom and take me for a tumble between the sheets (hey, I'm only human). Somehow, I think that's unlikely.

The man turns and looks at me, he steps away from the mirror and faces me.

"Amy!" He cries before running up and hugging me.

This is nice. Maybe I'll hit him with a cricket bat _after _the hug.

Unfortunately- I mean _finally_ he breaks away.

"Do I know you?" I ask.

"Long story. Sort of a long story. I was fiddling with the TARDIS controls –you know, trying to get her working again- when _this _happened!" He motioned towards his body.

"What are you talking about? And what the hell are you doing in my house?!"

"It's me!"

"Who?!"

"I'm stuck like this for 50 minutes! The TARDIS is leaking time, and somehow, it's affected me. It's _de-aged _me!"

"Who the hell are you?!"

"The Doctor!"

Whoa. Ok. What?

I just stare at him for a few seconds.

Ok...

1, The Doctor looks different. Like really different. How is that even possible?!

2, I'm attracted to the Doctor.

This is very weird.

"But...how?" I ask.

"Well, the retro spin triathalin had an argument with my timey wimey detector and –WHAM! Here I am." He talks at like a thousand miles a second. "I'm stuck like this."

He turns towards the mirror again.

"Where did you get the new clothes? No bowtie?"

He's wearing a tight, brown pinstriped suit. He looks...different...and is that converse? He really is different!

"I told you, the TARDIS is leaking time. I didn't just shed a few years, I de-aged! My personal clock was literally turned back a few years; I'm from an earlier point in my own personal timeline. My memories have stayed put, after effect of the tiathalin I'd imagine. Anyway, here I am, for 50 minutes. Me. The Doctor. Whaddya think?"

He took a spin.

"I like it." Better to be blunt. I mean, I _really _like it. Maybe my dreams really have come true?

"Improvement?"

I toss the idea around in my head. "I dunno, I like the other you, you were like a really weird brother to me. But this you? Doctor, I'm having a hard time not looking at you."

"Molto-bene!" He beamed a big grin in my direction.

I don't think he knows what I mean.

Well, if my dreams are coming true, I'd better take full advantage.

I literally throw myself at him, pushing him up against the mirror and kissing him.

Oh this is awesome! He's kissing back! If this was _my _Doctor, he'd probably be pushing me off right now. But this guy? He's actually kissing me back! His hands are on my waist and everything!

Thank you! Whoever gave me this, thank you!

The kissing is awesome, but I've got other plans.

I step back and take his hands in mine.

"Let's take that new body for a test drive."

His eyes go wide and he lets go of my hands.

What?! No! Don't do this to me!

He starts to speak. "I'm flattered, Amy. Really, I am, but this can't happen."

"What? Why?!" Wow. Try not to sound _too _desperate, Pond.

"Trust me, it's for the best. The kiss was nice, though."

"Let's just kiss some more! That's totally fine with me!"

"Best not. Didn't you come here to tell me something? You said it was important on the phone."

"Forget that! _This _is important!"

"What is this?"

"What I'm hoping is going to be the best sex of my life!"

The Doctor's eyes went wide again.

"Listen, Amy, really, forget that. What did you need to tell me?"

That's it. Last ditch effort.

I launch myself at him again.

Success! He's kissing back!

I'm gonna get laid!

And this is awesome! Awesome kissing, wandering hands, I like this Doctor! Now it's time for-

Wait...what?

We both pull back at the same time.

_What the hell?_

"It's happened again, hasn't it?" The man in front of me says.

I just nod slowly.

"Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic!" I'm guessing that was sarcasm. He stares up at the roof. "Fine. If we're going to do this, we're skipping the next one, got that?!"

Great. Fit Doctor is gone. Now I've got Nothern Doctor in a leather jacket.

How did this happen?

-50-

ROSE POV

"Jack! Put him down! Alonso, those banners are wonky! Fix them!"

This is hard work. How do aliens have birthday parties? Is this just gonna be really really weird for him? Whatever. He's having a party whether he likes it or not. If anyone has a problem, they can talk to me.

Or Amy. Which is probably more of a threat, really.

Clara comes running up to me.

"Rose, there's something I probably should have mentioned by now."

"Not now Clara! We've got five minutes until he gets here! Seriously, we need this sorted!" I hurry her off in the other direction. This party _will _be ready.

Clara's gathered as many people as she can, but this many big personalities in one room is like some kinda ego battle, they all wanna either shout at or kiss each other.

Some of 'em wanna do both.

I guess that's teenagers for you.

Ah! My phone is ringing! It's Amy!

Right, here goes nothing.

"Hello?"

"Rose! The party is off! Get rid of it all!"

_What?_

"What?!"

She sighs deeply. Oh no. Rant incoming.

"We have a major problem. My life literally cannot take the stress. I'm coming to you, _with _the Doctor. I was determined to keep in the house, but no, Mr-stick-of-celery isn't having any of it. This guy is a nightmare!"

What is she talking about?

"What are you talking about, Amy?"

"I'll explain when we get here. I've had the day from hell. At least the technicoloured dreamcoat is gone."

She hangs up the phone.

_What the hell was that about?_

-50-

Amy pushes her way into the kitchen; luckily no one else seems to be around. That means no one can spoil it for the Doc-

Wait, who is this?

She's stood with a really tall guy. Curly hair. Teeth. Teeth and curls.

Huuuuge scarf.

"Hello, Rose. I'm the Doctor!" He says, in a big booming voice.

Amy just closes her eyes in what looks like frustration.

He looks at me for a second before grinning again.

"I see why this might confuse you, I'm the Doctor, but my appearance has been altered."

I just blink.

Amy speaks up. "Listen to what he's saying Rose. Something has happened to the Doctor, it's only temporary. But he keeps changing; I've had about half a dozen of them."

"I'm confused, what do you mean this is the Doctor?"

He shines that big grin again. "I'm him. The Do-"

Whoa.

"Oh no, this won't do at all."

Now he's someone else. Very...velvety.

"Great balls of fire! I've changed again!"

I've had enough of this. "Will someone please tell me what is going on?!"

'The Doctor' turns towards me. "I was tinkering with the TARDIS, trying to get it working again. I was attempting to reverse the polarity of the neutron flow when the resulting feedback zapped me, as it where, and sent me on a backward spiral through my own timeline. The effects should reverse when I reach my first face."

I think I need to lie down.

"So...you're the Doctor?"

"I'm the Doctor."

"Happy birthday."

-50-

AMY POV

Well, this has been going brilliantly.

Oh wait, _no it's not_.

I'm stood in the kitchen with Rose and a little guy with a big mop of hair.

"Oh my giddy aunt! A birthday party! But it's not even my birthday!" He says.

"You don't even have a birthday!" That was me.

"Exactly!"

This is getting us nowhere.

"Guys, listen, let's forget about the birthday party right now, we need to sort out whatever's going on with the Doctor."

"The Doctor? Doctor Who?"

That voice didn't sound-

I turn around.

Who the hell is this guy?

There's a guy stood in the doorway dressed all in black. He's wearing a hoodie, and his hood is up. That's actually kinda sinister...I dunno...he just looks...

He takes his hood down and grins.

"I think I've found them!" The guy shouts, drawing the attention of everyone else stood outside.

Oh no.

Please no.

They all come piling in.

I hear a voice behind me. "What is going on? What is the meaning of this, hm?" I turn around again and look at the Doctor. Great. Now he's an old man.

Everyone goes silent.

Just great.

Nothing ever goes right, does it?

I just throw on my biggest smile and stand in front of the Doctor, trying to hide him from the crowd.

"We're all here to celebrate-"

Suddenly, Clara step forward and throws some balloons into the air. "My birthday!"

What is she doing?

"Yes! Sorry for pretending it was for the Doctor guys, I was just trying to...surprise you! I can't exactly surprise myself, can I?" She throws me a wink.

Well...I guess that works... sort of.

I look around and smile at everyone, trying to give the impression that this was the plan all along. The hooded guy seems to have vanished, I can't see him anywhere. Ah well! We pulled it off! Sort of. Not really.

Maybe next year?

Clara ushers everyone outside, and leaves me, Rose and the Doctor alone.

I collapse against fridge and close my eyes.

"Happy birthday, Doctor."

-50-

**So there we are! We'll get back to the plot next chapter. **

**Couple of thinga to mention in reply to some reviews - **

**I'm writing the Daleks and Cybermen with the idea that they are just normal humans, like a typical gang of school bullies. But it's really up to you how you imagine them.**

**Also, it's the eleventh Doctor, but again, it's really up to you when it comes to your imagination, you can imagine whatever Doctor you want. Although, I am writing it as the eleventh Doctor, I dunno if I've been successful in capturing his voice, I hope so, but that's who I've got in mind.**

**When it comes to pairings...well, to put it bluntly, I won't be able to satisfy everyone. I'm trying to put something for everyone in here, but ultimately I've gotta accept that I can't suit everyone's tastes. I've kinda been going for a Rose/Doctor thing not because that's my favourite pairing, but because it seems to be the most popular.**

**I think that was all the questions, so yeah. I hope you enjoyed it. Sorry to all the Doctors I skipped; I didn't have time for all of you.**


	6. The Power of Four

ROSE POV

"We all change, when you think about it."

That was my mum, what on Earth is she talking about?

We're stood in the kitchen, and it's a Tuesday, so she's literally just got home from her bi-weekly shopping; unfortunately for me, she relies on my help to put it all away.

I place my jacket on the back of the chair before turning to her.

"What?"

She rolls her eyes. She does that when she thinks I'm not paying attention.

She's right, I wasn't.

Oops.

"I said we all change, when you think about it." She opens the fridge and puts the milk in. "We're all different people, all through our lives."

"Mum, what are you going on about now?"

"Brenda from next door's got a facelift. I can tell; she looks like she's trying to impersonate _zippy_ when she smiles."

Now I roll my eyes, before helping her with the next bag of food.

"Yeah, but what was all that about? About us all being different people?"

"Well, she's turned into a right old cow. And it got me thinking, people are always changing. Mr Dickson doesn't talk to anyone more, he just sorta mopes in his shop."

"So?"

"So...you don't need a new face to become a different person; people change all the time. Mr Dickson changed because his wife died; Brenda changed because she got a bit of work done. Heck, I'm not what I was, not since your dad."

I roll my eyes again. _Yeah, tell that to the postman._

She ignores me and continues. "I've just been thinking lately, everyone changes, and things never go back to how they were..."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that." We both turn suddenly in the direction of his voice. _The Doctor. _He's stood in my kitchen, with his bow tie, quiff and all. "Not everything changes."

I shoot him a glare. "Doctor...I thought you'd gone?"

"Me? I'm not going anywhere." He grins.

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, kinda glad I don't. I wouldn't know what to do with it... <strong>

**Warning: There will be...words...**

**Pairing: Some Rose/Doctor. Jack fancies everyone. Clara still has a crush (let's all say ****_awww_****).**

**Summary: Amy organises a night out with her friends, unfortunately, the Doctor tags along too...**

* * *

><p>Monday – 9:30 PM<p>

ROSE POV

I'm currently searching for my history book in my locker, but it's becoming a task I'm not capable of dealing with this early in the morning.

"Rose!" I hear whispered nearby.

I turn my head to the left, and see the Doctor's head poking out of a classroom. He sorta nods his head in the direction of the class; I'm assuming that's his way of getting me to come over.

I smile and mozy on over. Bonus points for _use of the word__"Mozy_", please?

"So, what's up?" I ask, and fold my arms.

Yep, just acting casual.

He fixes his bow tie in that way he thinks looks really cool. It doesn't. Kinda cute, though.

"Your history book is in here." He says with a grin.

I take a peek inside the classroom, and sure enough, there it is, sat on the desk.

I sigh with relief before marching to the back to get it. "Come on, you. Let's get to History."

He mocks a salute, and follows me out of the room.

"You're such a kid." I say with a friendly smile.

Or at least, I hope it looked friendly.

"I know!" He says enthusiastically. Yeah, he seems happy with the smile. Or the statement, but I'm kinda hoping it was the smile.

Anyway, we make our way through the corridors to our history classroom. See, we've got the Brig for history, and he gets pretty annoyed at latecomers. I think he might still think he's in the army or something...  
>Jack and Mels sorta stopped showing up after the first couple of lessons; I can't say that I blame 'em, it <em>is <em>dull. One thing that isn't dull, though, is the Doctor. Seriously, he makes history worthwhile.

No, not like _that_.

Well, maybe a little bit like that.

But, what I'm talking about right now is how he acts in lesson. He's convinced he knows history better than the brig does, and that leaves them with a rather...delicate relationship.

So, here we are, sat in class. As per usual, I'm sat next to Clara. She's a good laugh, and really friendly, so I can't complain. The Doctor's busy talking to Martha when the Brig comes in; he instantly shuts up and offers his friendliest smile.

"So, today, class, we're going to talk about the _great war_."

Queue tortured groans.

Slight exaggeration. Only slight, though.

"So," he begins "who can tell me when the great war started?"

"28 July 1914." That was the Doctor.

The brigadier sighed. "That is correct, Mr Smith. It would also be correct to _raise your hand _before speaking."

"Well, I thought it was obvious nobody else was going to answer; so why waste your time by waiting for you to pick me?"

This is pretty much normal.

"Now, listen here, Mr Smith-"

"Doctor."

"_Mr Smith. _I will not tolerate answering back in this class. You will do as you're told, or I'll have you sent to the headmaster's office."

Oh, it's getting tense, now.

"Aren't _you _the headmaster?"

"Well...I'll have you sent to _my _office."

"And who would teach the class?"

"_I _would."

"Then who would be in your office with me?"

"Mr Smith, how about this: you do as you're told, and we all stay put? Does that sound like something you could manage?"

The Doctor looks like he's tossing the idea around in his head. It might seem to you guys like he's being a bit of a jerk on purpose, but I think he genuinely thinks he's being perfectly polite. He's weird like that.

He sorta mumbles in response.

The brig raises an eyebrow. "What was that, Smith?"

"That'd be fine, Brigadier."

The Brig nods. "Good, and let that be an end to it."

...

12:07 PM

We're sat at our table, and Amy is telling me all about her big plans for tonight. She's a rather animated speaker –like the Doctor- I've often wondered if he's her secret brother or something...

I shake my head.

Nah, they look nothing alike.

"No?" She asks.

God damn it. Should have paid attention.

"Sorry?"

"Don't you like my plans?"

I'm confused.

"What gave you that idea?"

"You shook your head."

Ah, right.

"Sorry, I was just thinking about something."

"Oh, well then it's on! We'll head to yours at around eight, and it'll progress from there. I'm kinda excited now!" She laughs.

Wait. What? _Mine? _As in _my house_?

"Sorry, what?"

"We're going to yours tonight."

"We are? Who's 'we'?"

"Me, you and Clara."

"Oh."

That's all I can say.

I mean, yeah, Mum's out tonight (got a date with the postman), so I guess we _could_ do it.

"S-sure."

"Great!"

I need to start listening...and those will probably be my last words.

...

CLARA POV

Help me. I'm _so _stressed out.

I can't help it, I'm a control freak, I really am.

So, when things aren't _under _control, I panic. Like, unbelievably panic.

I'm just kinda sat here, on my own, sitting against a wall, worrying.

Profoundly.

"Hey,"

I look up.

Thank god. It's the Doctor.

I offer him a smile, and pat the ground next to me.

He awkwardly sits down next to me.

"So...nice trees."

I shoot him a look.

"You don't have to try to make conversation with me, you know."

"Hey, of course I do. What's up?"

That was almost...too normal for him.

I frown slightly, before sighing.

"You know when you like someone, and you get all panicky, and like, you wanna talk to them, and you get really nervous when they look at you?"

He shakes his head. "No, totally not."

I frown again.

"Well, it's a thing...that happens. Anyway, I like someone... do you get that?"

"Of course, I suppose you like lots of people."

Urgh! This is getting me nowhere.

Why can't he just help me here?

"Not like that! Like _like like _them. I have a...crush on someone."

He looks even more confused, before suddenly his eyes go wide.

"Oh! Oh, oh I see! I get it now. So, what's the problem?"

"Well, I don't know if they like me back..."

"Couldn't you just ask them?"

What?!

"No! No! Definitely not. I absolutely _cannot _do that."

"Then how will you know if they like you?"

"That's my dilemma!"

He shakes his head, before putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Listen, I used to be like you. I used to _wonder _what it'd be like to have what I truly wanted. I used to dream of the stars..."

"And, what happened?"

"Ah, long story. I stole a magic box and flew away. My people hated me for it, and do you know what? I don't regret one second of it."

"So...you're saying I should just go for it? You're saying that as long as _I'm _happy, that's all that matters?"

He nods.

"Well, that's a nice thought, Doctor. But I think I'll stick to pathetically staring at them from across the classroom if that's alright with you."

He smiles and shakes his head, before standing up and offering me his hand.

"Come along, Oswald."

I take his hand and he pulls me up.

"Where are we going?"

He sort of frowns at that, and then begins walking.

"Oh, I dunno, I never have a plan."

I smile, before jogging to catch up with him.

"Hey, thanks for that, back there."

"No problem." He says sincerely.

"Oh! Amy's arranging a little get together at Rose's place, you should come! I mean, Rose doesn't know about it yet, but I expect everything'll be just fine."

...

12:07AM

ROSE POV

Thatt... thas wat I thort...

Cara iz luking at mee lyk iv goot 2 heds...

Y... y iz see luking...iz she lukin at mee lyk...

...

AMY POV

"Rose! For god's sake, Rose, you're drunk!"

I try to get her attention again, but she's too busy laughing at the Doctor's chin. The Doctor just looks very bemused. I try to throw him a sympathetic smile, but he suddenly seems very interested in Rose's curtains.

No, that wasn't some weird innuendo, I literally mean her curtains.

He's just sort of looking them up and down...

Hmm...I wonder what it'd be like to be inside the Doctor's head?

...

THE DOCTOR POV

Nylon-1938-thermoplastic-synthetic-replacementforsilk-copolymers-green-mint-Amylookingatme-suspicious-ginger-notdrankalcohol-hydroxyl-ethanol-tolerant?-ginger-pheomelanin-Arg151Cys-whysuspicious?-lookingatRose-Hulthemia-thorns-rosa-ρόδονrhódon...

...

AMY POV

I doubt I'd be able to understand half of the things in his head anyway...

Ohhh no, Rose is touching the Doctor's chin now.

No. No no no.

Nope.

I quickly walk up to Rose and wave my hand in front of her face.

"Hello? Rose? Boyfriend, remember?"

She just sorta looks at me with a lost expression.

"Buuut...I...you have such preeetty haaaiir... Claaraa thinks you haaave pretty haaaiir toooo."

"That's very nice, Rose, now get up!"

I take her hands and pull her up; she leans against me, her balance is awful.

How much did she drink?!

"Rose, it's time for bed, dear."

"Buuut..."

"No buts, everyone needs to go home."

"Caaan the Dooctor staaay?"

"No, Rose, he's got to go home too."

She pouts at me, it's kind of adorable.

I sigh, before taking her into the bedroom.

She immediately throws herself down onto the bed, and wraps her arms around a pillow.

I shake my head and turn her light off.

"Night, Rose."

...

"Right, you guys ready to go?" I ask Clara and the Doctor.

Clara smiles widely. "Yep!"

The Doctor keeps looking back to Rose's room.

Hmm...

Uh oh...I know _that _look.

"Doctor?"

"Is she going to be alright?"

"She'll be fine! What's the worst that can happen?"

Clara unhelpfully answers my rhetorical question. "She could choke on her own vomit and die in her sleep?"

"Erm...thanks, Clara...not needed."

The Doctor takes a step back. "Yeah, I think I'll stay, and make sure that doesn't happen."

I sigh loudly.

_Great._

"Right. But _behave_. I mean it, Mr."

He gives me a salute. "Yes, ma'am. And I'll see you on Monday."

I shake my head before leading Clara out.

"Right, where do you live?" I ask her.

"I..." she hiccups. "Can't remember..."

Oh great. Another lightweight.

"C'mon then. You can come back to mine..."

* * *

><p><strong>So, what happened at that party, eh? You'll find out next chapter.<strong>

**Timey wimey stuff.**

**Or, as most people call 'em, flashbacks.**


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